life without my brother.

life without fouad is something i could never have imagined. in so many ways, it is the most unbelievably worst thing that's ever happened to me. but i do my best to be optimistic in life. and i gotta say, it's kind of nice not having him around. now before your pants fall off in the middle of a crowded room (i have no idea how that relates to anything but it came to me at 3 in the morning so why the hell not use it), hear me out. fouad has done more for me in this life than anyone outside of my mom. and that's a hell of a lot. but more recently, we discussed the humanity and mentality of america. i've gotta say, sometimes it take a great alteration in your life to see what it is he was talking about. this country and the people here it's all so predictable. i guess i never noticed it before, but now that i'm on my own, i'm forced to create a social connection on my own terms. it was easy before, i could just hide behind fouad and let the "entertainer" go to work. as long as fo was around, i felt at home. i didn't really give a shit to talk to the rest of the people in the room. now, i network with everyone i meet. get to know who they are, and why they are, and how to make that a beneficial relationship in some sense of the term. i can't deny it though, it is the biggest challenge of my life living without fo around. he opened my eyes to some of the most important things in my life - family, music (props to Xpsyche), columbia, religion, brotherhood, futbol, and so much more. of course the guy has his flaws...i mean after all, my hair is better. but outside of that, he has been a mentor and hero to me for as long as i've known. not long ago, my dad walked out on my entire family. my parents have been divorced for years, but he decided to cut us off. no talking, nothing. it has to be said in all fairness, he was a good dad when my parents were married. did the whole little league, cub scouts business. but, i can honestly admit, it's been about a little over a month since he decided he was done and a little bit over a month since fouad left. there have been many days where i don't give a second thought to the man that walked out on me. there has not been even ONE day where i don't miss fouad, my cousin, my brother. so what's the point of all that? don't ever underestimate the impact on someone's life that you have. you may be their only sanity. you may be the answer they've been looking for. you may change their lives forever.














i think the picture pretty much explains it.

happy turkeysgiving.

every year families around the country get together on the last thursday of november to celebrate the lovely raping and pillaging of the indians by the settlers. oh america. but let's be real here. who really is paying attention to the age old debacle between the indians and pilgrims over their thanksgiving dinner? most of us are focused on being thankful for their family and friends and life along those lines. for 19 years now, i have been celebrating this holiday of thanks, and for the first time, i finally had a perfect thanksgiving. well, nearly perfect. (fouad is in egypt, and family is not complete without him) but back to my wonderfully giddy sob story. so my aunt decided we should all go around the table and say what we were thankful for...it wasn't necessarily because she's that corny (although she is) but instead to stop my two uncles from debating what they'd just been watching on the beautifully informative fox news. regardless, everyone started giving their thanks, and i was thankful for my mom finding a job she loves, and something else that was probably trivial. but after all that, the table cleared up a bit as everyone finished. and, as always, there was two left eating still...myself and my grandpa. i've always shared a special bond with him, and as we sat there, i noticed he was eating his second big plate of food. he had stuffing, turkey, mashed potatoes, jello, green bean casserole, bread; it was neverending. and it was amazing. thanksgiving of '07 is the first time my grandpa has been able to eat anything other than soup in the past 2 months. he is finally in remission of his cancer. his face lit up when he told me he could taste what he was eating again. and it just goes to show you, all the materialistic things in life don't matter in the least. it's the little things that we take for granted everyday of our lives as if it's a human right to have these things. those of you reading this have eyes to see, and are probably listening to your iTunes as we speak. we can all walk and talk and taste and touch and hear and see and those are the basics of a human build that are so freaking amazing and we never think about. so, from now on, i advise everyone in the world reading this, to stop focusing on the trivial matters in life, and instead, take 2 minutes of the 24 hours in the day to say thanks. thanks for the little things. and really get a concept of just how major those little things are.

i love you gramps. as clueless as so many may say you are, you really open my eyes to a world i sometimes miss out on.

...and going and going and going...

there are many times in life where i wake up thinking about how thankful i am for the smallest things in life.  not to contradict that point, but lately it seems like i'm working my ass off and not moving forward in the least.  some people say working 2 jobs, making no money, and having no life is normal for a college kid and i should be so lucky.  and i would probably normally agree with that.  but for some reason, i can't at this point.  i feel like i should get to have a weekend at least every once in a while.  i feel like i'm drowning slowly, and i'm barely keeping my nose above the water.  gasping for breath of relief, and instead getting a mouth full of water.  i travel back and forth between wisconsin and illinois constantly to keep the two jobs.  you'd think living in chicago would make it easier to find a job, but man is it ever difficult to find something that will accommodate a lifestyle of most college goers.  i can't work as a waiter cause my hands shake, plus coming home at 1 am to get up in a few short hours after doing homework until 4 am is not worth it.  there's got to be a better way...God, if You're listening, i could really use Your help on this one.  oh and if anyone else has some suggestions, feel free to throw them my way.

one last time.

i decided to post about making the memory. that's right. the memory. this is the post from the last night we all went out with fouad.















we tried to go to the pumpkin farm first...but it was too late.














so we drove.















ended up down by the beach. decided to play soccer. what can i say? we were with fouad.

































if you couldn't tell by the change of the background, we left the beach. made the pilgrimage to iHop (steve jobs?)















"you can pretty much milk anything with a nipple." "i got nipples, greg. can you milk me?"















what do you suppose he's milking?















apparently all the milking left him drained. time to fill up.















oh no.






























hey fo, it's been good.


music to check out:
teitur - poetry & aeroplanes
the magic numbers - this is a song
chris garneau - sad news

falling into place.

as of late, life seems to be falling right into place. things are finally going the right way. i'm back in downtown chicago, back at columbia, and back to life as it should be. i've been doing a lot of research lately on some of my own interests, and the answers to the questions i've had with those seem to be showing up as well. for example, HD-DVD or Blu Ray? for those of you who might also be asking this question, it's looking good for HD-DVD. why do you ask? porn. yes, i said it. porn is the major deciding factor like it was with Beta Max and VHS. welcome to america!



i think that says it all. 57 billion dollars a year. anyways, i'm off to class now. i have begun to carry my camera with me again. sorry it's been flaky with that lately. like i said, things are better now. everything's falling into place.

at the end of every post, i will be placing a section of music to take notice of.

music to check out:
Scissor Sisters - Ta Dah
Gabe Dixon Band - More Than It Would Seem

Strange Lady

So, I'm sitting in the back of the MIDI Lab where I work at 1006 S. Michigan Ave., and my boss is here grading some of her students' projects. For the past 30 minutes, she has been talking to herself. Outloud. With conviction. Asking questions to no one. It's literally quite scary. I figured out how I want this blog to be layed out finally, so I will begin with regular updates. I apologize for the twice delayed start. Sometimes, it just takes time. Anyways, I've been spending most of my time in the MIDI world lately. I've got 12 tracks with no lyrics yet. I think I can do something. Shout out to Jamor on this one. I've got a special track for you, my friend. I was gonna give it to Kanye, but I talked to Joe 3H man. He told me to send that beat your way. So I will be keeping it real. Normally, there is a lovely plethera of photography in marriage with my posts, but seeing as how I am not at home, I cannot post any photos. I just wanted to make sure and get this sucker going. I'll be back tomorrow with an update.

Sorry for the overdue post, but let's cut the crap and get to the good stuff. I recently got my new digital camera. It's a Samsung S1050. Good cam, good cam. I took it with me this past weekend to Chicago. Kristen (my girlfriend), and I hopped the train from Kenosha to Ogilvie. Her friend, Allison, came with us because she was headed home for the weekend. We played a LONG game of Apples to Apples on the way down. There was a poor, black, toothless guy across from us who kept telling me to "Watch that girl with the smile...she's cheatin'" Anyways, we got to Chicago a little after 9:00. We hitched a ride to Randolph and Michigan and then walked the rest of the way to 195 N. Harbor Drive. We went in and talked with Ibrahim, showed him my camera, then we showered and headed off to meet Fouad and Mercedes at ESPN Zone for a late dinner.








We got one of those booths with the
little private TV on it. And we were
dead center of the projection screen.
Watched the Utah vs. Houston game.
It was definitely good.












On the walk home, I bumped into what I think was a boy band from the 90s that was posing for a CD cover. So, I thought I'd snap a shot
of them at work...






After getting back to 195, Kristen passed out pretty quickly.
Fo and Mer were talking the entire night, and I hopped into
the hot tub. Afterwards, I stayed up and watch the sunrise
over the city...not a bad view...















then i turned around and got the city...

The next day, Ali came up from Evanston
to hang out with us while his girl was at
some modeling job at McCormick Place.

...as did Jennie....and Alex.

We spent the day driving around for
a bit and got some Jimmy John's.

Kristen had a salad with some chicken.

Fouad spent the next 30 minutes playing with the camera...

He figured out how to set the timer.

Later that night, this girl Jasmine
that we know suggested that we go
to this hookah cafe for a bit. We
went about 6 or 7ish, and no one was there...

Then Fouad decided to pose with a bimmer...he's such a poser.

So that ended that night pretty quickly.
Took this picture though.
I thought it was pretty swank...

Well, that's all I've got for now. It's the summer now and I'm out of school, so there should be a lot of updating, as I don't expect this to be a boring summer by any means. There's a lot in the works. So until next time, ZIP IT UP, AND ZIP IT OUT!

My Cafe

So, this post is a bit overdue because I've just recently updated the photos on my computer. As many of you know, I've recently changed my major to Business in hopes that somewhere down the line I can open a cafe Europa style...here's a mock up of the setting...let me know

It starts...you think you know a guy

Well, I've finally got around to creating this blog. For those of you who don't already know who I am, this is the part where you begin to get to know me. For those of you who already know me, this is the time where you start to see what I'm really like. How I live my life. I could just write a list of my likes and dislikes, my birthday and all that crap. But instead, you will all meet me through my life. Get to know the kind of person I am. So, here goes nothing...