life without my brother.

life without fouad is something i could never have imagined. in so many ways, it is the most unbelievably worst thing that's ever happened to me. but i do my best to be optimistic in life. and i gotta say, it's kind of nice not having him around. now before your pants fall off in the middle of a crowded room (i have no idea how that relates to anything but it came to me at 3 in the morning so why the hell not use it), hear me out. fouad has done more for me in this life than anyone outside of my mom. and that's a hell of a lot. but more recently, we discussed the humanity and mentality of america. i've gotta say, sometimes it take a great alteration in your life to see what it is he was talking about. this country and the people here it's all so predictable. i guess i never noticed it before, but now that i'm on my own, i'm forced to create a social connection on my own terms. it was easy before, i could just hide behind fouad and let the "entertainer" go to work. as long as fo was around, i felt at home. i didn't really give a shit to talk to the rest of the people in the room. now, i network with everyone i meet. get to know who they are, and why they are, and how to make that a beneficial relationship in some sense of the term. i can't deny it though, it is the biggest challenge of my life living without fo around. he opened my eyes to some of the most important things in my life - family, music (props to Xpsyche), columbia, religion, brotherhood, futbol, and so much more. of course the guy has his flaws...i mean after all, my hair is better. but outside of that, he has been a mentor and hero to me for as long as i've known. not long ago, my dad walked out on my entire family. my parents have been divorced for years, but he decided to cut us off. no talking, nothing. it has to be said in all fairness, he was a good dad when my parents were married. did the whole little league, cub scouts business. but, i can honestly admit, it's been about a little over a month since he decided he was done and a little bit over a month since fouad left. there have been many days where i don't give a second thought to the man that walked out on me. there has not been even ONE day where i don't miss fouad, my cousin, my brother. so what's the point of all that? don't ever underestimate the impact on someone's life that you have. you may be their only sanity. you may be the answer they've been looking for. you may change their lives forever.














i think the picture pretty much explains it.